[Friday November 10th @ 3:00pm] [ mood | lazy ] dear eljay, i really kind of miss you. love, emi 1 ♥ COMMENT

blahblah livejournal is aliveee!!!!! [Saturday July 8th @ 7:37am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | none currently, in the carride home though it was the hippos ] is this thing still going? because hell, i know i am. COMMENT

[Tuesday January 10th @ 9:55pm] [ mood | crappy ] i hate routine. a lot. 2 ♥ COMMENT

[Wednesday December 14th @ 1:13am] so the other day extreme makeover home edition called good ole half price books and asked for donated books. my assistant manager crystal and i went. (she invited me) and we got free tshirts and vip passes. we got to see what happens while it's happening before they show the family. they do all of it in five days. it's amazing. anyway.. and you should be jealous because we went on location there and saw all the awesome stuff they do. i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm officially kind of a big deal. emi COMMENT

[Wednesday December 7th @ 7:18am] does any other girl feel like everyone is a size zero these days? sheesh. 2 ♥ COMMENT

[Wednesday December 7th @ 12:53am] [ mood | high ] [ music | bloc party ] i haven't really been updating, for several reasons. even though i don't really do much, i still always feel like i'm too busy for lj. maybe i'm growing out of the habits i've had for nearly six years off and on. in some ways, i think of lj as a documentation of my life since i was fourteen. if you think back to six years ago, most of you when we became friends, so much has happened. it's crazy. eh. so a lot has happened since i've last felt like i should really update. i've gotten a few tattoos, i've met some new people, i've avoided most of them..and i've let a few things go that i've held onto for a long time. i can't say completely that it's made me happy, or that i'm finally relieved or that i wish i couldn't take it back, but i know it's for the best. my lease is up in may, i'm not sure where i'm going to be moving. i have several options, but i just have to figure out which is best for me. i really want to move home, but i know that i'm not 100% that i can handle it yet, so i'm probably not going to. shit. who knows. i may stay here just to keep things simple. but probably not. i will need a roommate probably anywhere that i go. i've started writing again. and once the new year comes i'm going to read a book a week. i can do it, i used to read around four. i'm also going to start my new years right with tons of vegetables and healthy food only. i've eaten so much food lately that i can not handle it. sheesh. work sucks. it's super stressful. two people i work with, cliff and mike, are both leaving the store. cliff's going to live in europe backpacking basically for about six months. mike's moving to austin. they're basically my only friends here other then kara, fogle, and jen. so it should be interesting next semester. it's amazing how milk doesn't quench your thirst. i'm happy to say that my 20th birthday is twenty-two days away. and in ten days exactly, since the very last time that i did ice. i'm pretty excited about that. anyway. i have to work tomorrow moring at 8, i'm being trained on how to open our store. COMMENT

[Wednesday November 23rd @ 12:22pm] i hate my job more then anything, but a good reason i probably wouldn't quit: bonus check today was $400 and the one i'll get in a few weeks for christmas will be around $500 even though some shady shit has been going down, bonus checks rule. COMMENT

[Tuesday November 22nd @ 1:06pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | led zepplin ] i saw my nephews and my dad and nicole over the weekend. it was awesome. last night, mike, john, and i went to see walk the line. (johnny cash movie) i was really surprised at it because it was a lot like ray. other then that though, i thought it was pretty much the coolest new movie i've seen. (even though they cut out the last thirtysomething years of his life) i'm gonna go see it with my mom later, too. so we get our bonus checks this week, supposedly, and i really want to go shopping today. i can't decide if i should before i know if i have the money to pay my bills. ohwell i need clothes. plus, i'm doing laundry today. i'm not going to school next semester, and i'm thinking very seriously of where i may be moving. on one hand, i want to live out of texas and with katie in chicago. on another hand, i want to stay in texas for my family and nephews and dad. but austin seems far away and nicole could live with me if i lived in somewhere like denton. i just don't know what to do really. it's kind of complicated. anyway. i'm cooking. late. COMMENT

rant. [Sunday November 13th @ 10:22am] [ mood | moody ] [ music | the doors ] i hate that everytime i want to sit down anywhere in my house, there is dog hair to ruin my clothes. the floor, sofa, my bed. i hate that i ask something be sprayed for lit when smoking a cigarette never happens. i hate that i wanted to say bye to a few people last night and nobody would wait for me. and now that person is mad at me. and i hate that i wanted to go hang out with kara last night but cliff was too drunk to drive anywhere but didn't tell me. i realized it when we nearly wrecked. twice. i hate people who think they have a certain image to uphold. and i hate stupid slut girls who want to fuck people in bands just because they are in bands. (in case you haven't noticed, everyone is in a band these days) and i hate how catty girls can be when you're just trying to be nice and get along with them and they act like they're better. i hate how this town has either good ole boys and girls or hippies, no in between. i don't really mesh well with either. i hate how i have no clothes anymore and how the only two people i really consider friends are moving. (except kara, fogle, jen) and i hate how i don't like one of cliff's friends but it's easier to be nice to her then to let it be known that i don't like her. and her friend too. they're both catty unless you can do something for them. i hate how certain girls think every guy ever wants to fuck them..or that they are the hottest most unique person ever. i hate how cliff hasn't worked on my hair in forever even though i've asked and so the complete bottom of my hair is not anything but mess. all of my hair is mess, actually. okay i hate pretty much everything. 1 ♥ COMMENT

[Saturday November 12th @ 7:51pm] [ mood | disgusted ] [ music | pink floyd ] i've had my job for over a year. never have i experienced anything like this: today a woman was screaming at her kid while he was crying (he was maybe five..maybe) that he couldn't have anything because he peed in his pants. half an hour later i'm pulled to the handicapped women's restroom and i witness something disgusting. a pair of little boys underwear, completely filled with shit. i don't mean streaked, i mean logs. it was disgusting. it was stashed in the corner of our bathroom on the floor. and the toilet was filled with a fourth a roll of toilet paper. i mean seriously, wtf. what kind of person would think this was okay? like we wouldn't know it was her from the scene she made about a little kid having an accident? what a fucking cunt, no joke. on another note, HE TOUCHED MY HAIR. haha. 2 ♥ COMMENT

so this kind of remind me of familiar things. [Tuesday November 8th @ 2:33pm] Mid-Season Change It's an autumn day right now inside my head And the leaves are turning brown outside Summer now is dead And after all this time that I have had alone I wish I could return to the place that I call home But I know that I won't remember when you played those songs of yesterday that bring back all the good times and the feel of better days With all the dying ambiance my mind sits still Nostalgia sets in again and takes me back to feel That loneliness inside me that reminds me of Familiar devil winds that blow into and through my soul And now I'll never know remember when you played those songs of yesterday that bring back all the good times and the feel of better days And now that I am here with eyes that swell with tears I realize that there is something wrong With living in those days I can't relive those autumn days COMMENT

[Tuesday November 8th @ 2:16pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | ben harper ] i feel bad because i didn't get to go home and vote due to lack of money. it sucks. i feel like the world's biggest asshole for it. but on the other hand, i went to the protest, and i told so many people to vote. i begged people to vote, actually. so i guess even though i'm lame and didn't vote, i can say i did my part, kind of. i'm not going to school next semester. i'm always tired, always stressed, always working. my days are way over fifteen hours everyday and i hate it. i don't think i should be making a desicion to be in school and what i want to do with the rest of my life when i'm nineteen. i'll be glad to finish school by the time i'm thirty..seriously. i know my parents will be disappointed, but i'm an adult and i need to make up my mind for myself. but i can't blow off this semester and ruin everything for the future. been there, done that. on december 7th, cliff is leaving for europe. i'm really sad. he's one of my really good friends here. but he needs to get out of here. this place sucks. then, mike is probably moving too! but only to austin, but still. i'm sad. those are two of my favoritest friends. i'll still have kara, fogle, and jen though. they're probably my favoritestestest people here. i hate saying bye to people, it's the worse thing ever. adam left a week and a half ago to live in nyc with his feeonsay. i'm glad for him (hello-nyc? duh.) but i'm still sad that he's left. it makes me really really sad. he's such a good person, talented too. i've been feeling really nostalgic lately. maybe it's realizing that all of my friends and i aren't kids anymore? it's weird to think that i'm nearly twenty. it's weird to think that all of my friends and i can't blame our stupidity on our ages anymore. it makes me wish that i could go back in time to when all that mattered was going to shows as much as possible, drinking beer, and hiding it from my parents. andrew really helped this mood even more by his post today. man. i was just looking at photos of us the other day from high school. remember when we went to the alkaline trio show at the ridglea? and i had matt skiba on my voicemail for 546546768435434687 years after that. god. it doesn't seem like that long ago, but shit, it was probably almost three or four years ago. it's just weird thinking that we've all grown up. it's weird that nearly everyone i grew up with has kids. this growing up bullshit sucks, but at the same time, it's a part of life. idunno. i guess i've just been thinking too much, as usual. i gotta do some homework-it's cicis and charlie and the chocolate factory tonight. 4 ♥ COMMENT

[Tuesday November 8th @ 7:11am] okay seriously i hate the mornings. i hate waking up, i hate getting out of bed, and most of all i hate having to do math homework. i have that plus quizzes to do before 11. then i after class at 115, i have about 46545165498745 computer labs to do so i can catch up. it's gonna be a twenty hour day. awesome. but on another note, charlie and the chocolate factory comes out on dvd today and fogle, jen, kara, and i are having a movie night mosdef. COMMENT

i like austin. [Monday October 31st @ 8:48am] [ mood | content ] [ music | strung out ] got one of my tattoos covered. said goodbye to adam. went to austin. went to south austin hippie church at some mexican resturant. played chicken shit bingo. worked on my hair. shopped. met some crazy chick who told us about pagan god type things. drank beer and smoked pot at a bar. got up at 530am to come home because cliff had to take the gre. stopped at waffle house. got home, skipping class. sleeping. washing hair. going to work. it's halloween. awesome. COMMENT

blah. [Thursday October 27th @ 10:19am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | sublime ] you know, there's just something about my usually longer then fourteen hour days that i really don't like. i wake up tired, i go to school tired, then to work tired, and then i get off of work tired and do homework tired, go to sleep tired. i'm never caught up on my sleep. on another note, i'm going home this weekend to vote. yes. i'm driving all the way to dallas just to vote. it's that important to me. time to get ready for school. 1 ♥ COMMENT

new hair.. [Wednesday October 26th @ 2:08am] [ mood | happy ] [ music | le tigre ] ( photo. ) 3 ♥ COMMENT

[Monday October 24th @ 1:43am] i hate school and after this semester i doubt i'll go back anytime soon. i'm so frustrated and so stressed out with the amount of work i have in my classes plus working fourty hours a week on top of my school is nearly impossible. i cannot focus on anything long enough to learn what i'm supposed to and i just don't know what to do. seriously, the only thing i've gained from this semester is stress. i haven't learned anything, i haven't accomplished anything, and being satisfied with a C makes me sick. who was i trying to kid when i said i could easily work and go to school full time? i'm also tired of hearing all the little pussies complain about how hard school is and how they're so tired and blahblah and they don't have to work while going to school. because literally, i get up at about 9am, and my actual work day doesn't end until 1030pm, and then i have to study after that. and did i mention i got a $150 parking ticket? yeah..fuck college station police. 3 ♥ COMMENT

[Thursday October 20th @ 1:47am] [ mood | cynical ] [ music | letigre ] what has happened to all of the decent human beings out there? everyone i meet lately is disappoints me. [mostly] everyone in my life in college station has in some way, disappointed me. i don't expect much: loyalty, honesty, respect, and consideration for my feelings. those are the basic rules of friendship, yet, it seems most people have forgotten them. i'm disgusted with the way people treat one another. and i'm curious to know how other people define 'friendship' because i seem to be on a different page. 7 ♥ COMMENT

[Thursday October 13th @ 2:28am] [ mood | high ] [ music | fall out boy! ] 1 ♥ COMMENT

[Wednesday October 12th @ 2:08pm] i made an 82 on my sociology test. yayyyy. COMMENT

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