i really kind of miss you.
is this thing still going? because hell, i know i am.
so the other day extreme makeover home edition called good ole half price books and asked for donated books. my assistant manager crystal and i went. (she invited me) and we got free tshirts and vip passes. we got to see what happens while it's happening before they show the family. they do all of it in five days. it's amazing. anyway.. and you should be jealous because we went on location there and saw all the awesome stuff they do. i just wanted to let everyone know that i'm officially kind of a big deal.
does any other girl feel like everyone is a size zero these days?
i haven't really been updating, for several reasons. even though i don't really do much, i still always feel like i'm too busy for lj. maybe i'm growing out of the habits i've had for nearly six years off and on. in some ways, i think of lj as a documentation of my life since i was fourteen. if you think back to six years ago, most of you when we became friends, so much has happened. it's crazy. eh.
so a lot has happened since i've last felt like i should really update. i've gotten a few tattoos, i've met some new people, i've avoided most of them..and i've let a few things go that i've held onto for a long time. i can't say completely that it's made me happy, or that i'm finally relieved or that i wish i couldn't take it back, but i know it's for the best.
my lease is up in may, i'm not sure where i'm going to be moving. i have several options, but i just have to figure out which is best for me. i really want to move home, but i know that i'm not 100% that i can handle it yet, so i'm probably not going to. shit. who knows. i may stay here just to keep things simple. but probably not. i will need a roommate probably anywhere that i go.
i've started writing again. and once the new year comes i'm going to read a book a week. i can do it, i used to read around four. i'm also going to start my new years right with tons of vegetables and healthy food only. i've eaten so much food lately that i can not handle it. sheesh. work sucks. it's super stressful. two people i work with, cliff and mike, are both leaving the store. cliff's going to live in europe backpacking basically for about six months. mike's moving to austin. they're basically my only friends here other then kara, fogle, and jen. so it should be interesting next semester.
it's amazing how milk doesn't quench your thirst.
i'm happy to say that my 20th birthday is twenty-two days away. and in ten days exactly, since the very last time that i did ice. i'm pretty excited about that. anyway. i have to work tomorrow moring at 8, i'm being trained on how to open our store.
i hate my job more then anything, but a good reason i probably wouldn't quit:
bonus check today was $400 and the one i'll get in a few weeks for christmas will be around $500
even though some shady shit has been going down, bonus checks rule.
i saw my nephews and my dad and nicole over the weekend. it was awesome.
last night, mike, john, and i went to see walk the line. (johnny cash movie) i was really surprised at it because it was a lot like ray. other then that though, i thought it was pretty much the coolest new movie i've seen. (even though they cut out the last thirtysomething years of his life) i'm gonna go see it with my mom later, too. so we get our bonus checks this week, supposedly, and i really want to go shopping today. i can't decide if i should before i know if i have the money to pay my bills. ohwell i need clothes. plus, i'm doing laundry today. i'm not going to school next semester, and i'm thinking very seriously of where i may be moving. on one hand, i want to live out of texas and with katie in chicago. on another hand, i want to stay in texas for my family and nephews and dad. but austin seems far away and nicole could live with me if i lived in somewhere like denton. i just don't know what to do really. it's kind of complicated. anyway. i'm cooking. late.
i hate that everytime i want to sit down anywhere in my house, there is dog hair to ruin my clothes. the floor, sofa, my bed. i hate that i ask something be sprayed for lit when smoking a cigarette never happens. i hate that i wanted to say bye to a few people last night and nobody would wait for me. and now that person is mad at me. and i hate that i wanted to go hang out with kara last night but cliff was too drunk to drive anywhere but didn't tell me. i realized it when we nearly wrecked. twice. i hate people who think they have a certain image to uphold. and i hate stupid slut girls who want to fuck people in bands just because they are in bands. (in case you haven't noticed, everyone is in a band these days) and i hate how catty girls can be when you're just trying to be nice and get along with them and they act like they're better. i hate how this town has either good ole boys and girls or hippies, no in between. i don't really mesh well with either. i hate how i have no clothes anymore and how the only two people i really consider friends are moving. (except kara, fogle, jen) and i hate how i don't like one of cliff's friends but it's easier to be nice to her then to let it be known that i don't like her. and her friend too. they're both catty unless you can do something for them. i hate how certain girls think every guy ever wants to fuck them..or that they are the hottest most unique person ever. i hate how cliff hasn't worked on my hair in forever even though i've asked and so the complete bottom of my hair is not anything but mess. all of my hair is mess, actually. okay i hate pretty much everything.
i've had my job for over a year. never have i experienced anything like this:
today a woman was screaming at her kid while he was crying (he was maybe five..maybe) that he couldn't have anything because he peed in his pants. half an hour later i'm pulled to the handicapped women's restroom and i witness something disgusting. a pair of little boys underwear, completely filled with shit. i don't mean streaked, i mean logs. it was disgusting. it was stashed in the corner of our bathroom on the floor. and the toilet was filled with a fourth a roll of toilet paper. i mean seriously, wtf. what kind of person would think this was okay? like we wouldn't know it was her from the scene she made about a little kid having an accident? what a fucking cunt, no joke.
on another note, HE TOUCHED MY HAIR. haha.